


Remembering

by RandomThingsInLife



Series: It's Overwhelming [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Everybody Lives, F/M, Fix-It, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Gen, I Stole Some Things from the Miniseries, M/M, Myra Kaspbrack makes a brief appearance, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Side Benverly - Freeform, Stanley Uris Lives, The Losers Club (IT) Love Each Other, This is so soft, let them be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomThingsInLife/pseuds/RandomThingsInLife
Summary: Eddie is unhappy when he gets Mike Hanlon’s call. Next thing he knows, he’s agreed to go back to his hometown, sure, no problem.Then there's the fact that he's remembered he's in love with his best friend.The next few days will be, interesting, to say the least.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: It's Overwhelming [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633264
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	Remembering

**Author's Note:**

> This is Eddie's POV of the events of These Memories.

Eddie is, unhappy, when he gets Mike Hanlon’s call. He’s, familiar, with unhappy. In fact, that brief moment between when he actually remembers Mike and when he slams into a taxicab is the happiest he’s been in years. He tells Mike he’ll call him back and jumps into the too familiar routine of exchanging information with the cab driver. He drops his damaged car off at the mechanic’s and goes to the nearest coffeeshop.

He orders a stupidly large drink with an astounding amount of sugar, but he’s just remembered that all his meds are bullshit, that his illnesses are fake, that his allergies don’t exist, so sue him for giving in and drinking some caffeine that doesn’t taste like death for once in his life. Or maybe his adult life. He’s not sure, his memory is still pretty hazy. But he can now remember yelling at his mother over his fake drugs and he’s not about to let his fake illness rule his life for even a second longer.

“That’s great, Eddie. I’m proud of you,” says voice in his head that is clearly not his and sounds way too much like that stupidly unfunny comedian he’s been weirdly obsessed with for more years than he’d like to admit. He shakes it off and chugs half his drink and calls Mike back.

He kind of, drifts through the conversation. Next thing he knows, he’s agreed to go back to his hometown, sure, no problem. He gets off the phone with Mike and grabs an uber back to his house. There’s a creeping sense of dread in the back of his mind, but that’s nothing compared to the more immediate ball of anxiety in his stomach. He knows Myra’s out at book club, but he also knows, he also knows…

“You can do this, Eds,” says that same not-his voice in his head.

He also knows he’s got to tell Myra he wants a divorce. He cannot go back to Maine still married to her, because, whatever this is, whatever’s going on, he knows its life changing and he’s been looking for a reason to do this for so long, he can’t pass up one that just fell into his lap.

He takes a deep steadying breath once he’s in the house and pulls out his phone. He texts his co-worker Greg, who got divorced last year and mentioned that he liked the lawyer he used, to ask the lawyers name. He pockets his phone before he can stress about it too much and goes to pull his suitcases out of the closet. His phone chimes and he pulls it out. He can’t get up the nerve to open Greg’s message, so he calls his boss.

“Eddie, how’s the car?” his boss, John, answers.

“Hi John, it’s, uh, it’s in the shop.” Eddie says. He takes a deep breath. “I know it’s super last minute, but I have a bit of a family emergency and I need to take a week off starting tomorrow. I-”

“Eddie, are you ok?” John asks.

“Yeah, just, my, uh, my cousin, was in, in an accident and is in the hospital and we’re all travelling in to be with him.” Eddie says.

“That’s terrible, Eddie, of course you can have the week,” John says. It’s not like Eddie expected much else, he literally never takes days off. Not sick days. Not vacation. “Let me know if you end up needing more time.”

“Thanks, John, really,” Eddie says.

“Of course. I’ll let you get packing. Safe travels.” John hangs up.

The call settles him enough to look at Greg’s text.

 **Greg:** yeah of course. Good on you, man

There’s a contact card attached.

 **Eddie:** Thanks

He takes a deep breath and calls the number. It’s, surprisingly easy to get things rolling.

He wraps up with the lawyer and takes a quick look over the living room. He’s mentally cataloguing what he’ll need to pack up and quickly realizes that there’s not much around here that’s his.

He takes his two giant suitcases to his room and empties his closet and drawers into them. He ducks into the laundry room to grab the last few articles of clothing he owns from the dryer. By the time he’s finished packing his clothes, he’s only got one suitcase three fourths of the way full. He tosses his shoes into the same bag; it’s still got room. He looks around the bedroom and there’s nothing else in there that he wants.

He steps into the bathroom. The medicine cabinet is chock full of his bullshit pills and he angrily knocks them all into the trashcan. He grabs his duffel bag and dumps all of his toiletries into it.

He moves to Myra’s craft room where he’s got a tiny desk and filing cabinet tucked into the corner. He digs through the paperwork and separates his from Myra’s. He tucks his into his other suitcase, tosses in the few books he’s kept. A couple books on statistics, his William Denbrough books that Myra hates. As he’s setting the last one in, it hits him that William Denbrough is their Bill, the Losers’ Bill. Holy shit, no wonder he’s been collecting these books even though he hates horror. He shakes himself out of it, he knows he’s gotta be done with this before Myra gets home to scream questions at him.

He keeps packing, finishes getting all his things in his bags, goes back through the house to double check that he’s got everything. He’s still got room in his suitcase, still got plenty of room in his backpack. He takes a deep breath. He’s got a couple boxes of stuff from his mom’s place tucked into the storage closet. He’ll have to get those after this trip. Or maybe not.

He pulls his phone out and calls the car rental place. He’ll just drive to Derry, and that way he can put all his shit in the car and not have to worry about Myra throwing anything out in case she takes this poorly. He sets it up easily and they’ll even bring him a car. He breathes easier knowing that’s out of the way. He glances at the clock. Myra should be home soon.

The car beats Myra, so he loads his suitcases and boxes into it. He’s waiting on the couch with his backpack when Myra gets home.

“Eddie?” she asks cautiously when she sees him on the couch.

“Myra, we need to talk. Well, I have something I need to say,” he says.

“What’s wrong, Eddie-bear?” she asks as she settles into her recliner.

“I have a family thing I need to go to. It’s in Maine. I’ll be gone for a week,” he starts.

“You- what?” she says, confused.

“I’m going away for a week for a family thing in my hometown.” He says.

“You’re leaving now?” she asks.

“Yes, as soon as we’re done talking,” Eddie says.

“It’s so sudden, why haven’t you mentioned it?”

“I only got word today,” He says gently. “There’s something else.”

“What?” She asks.

“Myra,” he takes a deep breath. “Myra, I think, no. I want a divorce.”

“You what!” Myra says.

“I want a divorce.” He says firmly. “I’m going away for the week. I’ll be moving out, but we’ll talk when I get back.”

Myra is quiet, not saying anything. But she’s not fighting him so he’ll take what he can get. He nods decisively, pats her knee, shoulders his backpack, and leaves the house.

He calls the Derry Townhouse from the car and books a room. Then he plugs in the address and starts driving.

It’s a long drive, and he started much later than he should have. He knows he’ll have to stop for the night, but he decides to see how far he can get.

In the end, he only makes it a couple hours out of the city before his anxiety distracts him enough that he almost runs off the road. He pulls into the nearest gas station and googles the closest decent hotel. He finds one that looks promising and is only about twenty minutes from where he is. He plugs the address in his GPS and gets back on the road.

The hotel thankfully has vacancies and is reasonably clean. He gets a room and tries to get some sleep. As he’s lying in the dark, things start to click in his mind. He’s remembering more. He remembers Mike, strong, brave Mike. He remembers Big Bill, the artist, the writer, the leader. He remembers Bev, fierce Bev, beautiful Bev. He remembers Stan, quiet, intelligent Stan. He remembers Ben, kind Ben, Ben the builder. He remembers Richie, Richie, Richie. He’s overwhelmed by remembering Richie. Richie is all over his memories, pressed in close, arms over shoulders, ice cream sticky fingers, loud voice. Richie, god, how could he have forgotten Richie. Richie who he’d been in love with. Richie who he’s, who he’s, who he’s still in love with. He allows himself to admit it, lying there in the dark. The truth of it shakes him to the core. But it also settles him. Maybe Richie will, no, he’s not going there. Sleep. He needs sleep.

He’s not sure how long he lies in the dark remembering, but eventually he drops into a deep sleep. He wakes up feeling lighter than he’s felt in years. He grabs a quick breakfast and heads on towards Derry. Its another six hours before he makes it there, giving him just enough time to drop his bags off at the Townhouse before dinner.

There’s only one other car in the parking lot, and no one at the desk when he gets inside.

“Hello?” he calls into the building. No one answers and he can distantly hear the sound of a shower running. He sighs and ducks around the desk to check himself in. He checks the book and grabs his key, notes that there are other keys missing, but purposely doesn’t check to see who’s here. He hauls his bags up to his room and freshens up. He heads back out of the Townhouse and goes to the restaurant.

He’s not sure how long he sits in the parking lot psyching himself up, but eventually he leverages himself out of the car and walks in. He quietly follows the hostess to the room Mike has booked for them.

Bill and Mike are standing there. They’re looking at him and he takes them in quickly.

“Holy shit,” he says. They grin and exchange quick hugs.

“Bill, holy fuck, are you shorter than me?” he asks.

Bill laughs. “Seems that way,” he says.

They’re chatting idly, backs to the door when the gong sounds behind them.

“This meeting of the Losers Club has officially begun!” Richie, that can only be Richie, says.

Eddie turns and there they all are, the rest of the Losers. Bev is standing next to a tall handsome man that, by process of elimination must be Ben, because Stan and Richie look so much like themselves. Bev is grinning at Richie while Stan glares at him. Richie looks smug, Ben is looking fondly at them all.

Bev looks gorgeous as ever. Stan does look like a taller version of how he looked as a kid. Ben looks great, he’s gotten tall, gotten in amazing shape. But it’s not Ben that takes his breath away. No, that honor is reserved for Richie. Richie, who he’s, god, who he’s _definitely_ still in love with. He’d forgotten exactly how stupidly in love with Richie he’d been as a kid, but it washes fully over him and nearly knocks him over.

“Look at these guys,” he says breathlessly, awkwardly.

He’s a little freaked out, because he can now remember the kid Richie was and just how he felt about him, and trying to match that with Richie Tozier, the stupidly unfunny comedian he’s been weirdly obsessed with for longer than he’d like to admit, is giving him cognitive dissonance.

He takes a seat at the table a little in a daze. Oh, he realizes, of course he’d been obsessed with Richie, he’d loved him even when he couldn’t remember him, and he wants to cry a little.

Richie seems a little out of it, judging by the way that Stan directs him into the seat next to Eddie. Richie, Stan, and Bev exchange a look then Richie drops his forehead to Stan’s shoulder and mutters something that Eddie can’t quite catch.

He orders a drink, grateful that the others have decided this night needs alcohol. Mike orders a few family style meals. When the drinks come, Richie starts doing shots. He’s not sure what that means but it doesn’t take long before they’re all talking and joking around like they used to. Eddie wants Richie’s attention on him so badly it stuns him a little.

Suddenly, Richie is laser focused on him. “So, wait, Eddie, you got married?” Richie says, laughter just below the surface of his voice.

“Yeah, why’s that so fucking funny, dickwad?” Eddie shoots back. He’s missed these stupid arguments that he’d always used as an excuse to talk to Richie, be close to Richie, be the center of Richie’s attention.

“What, to like, a woman?” Richie says, and yikes, that hits a little too close to home.

“Fuck you, bro,” Eddie says defensively. Stan elbows Richie, but Richie is apparently ignoring him because,

“Fuck you!” Richie says back.

“Alright, what about you, Trashmouth, you married?” Bill says.

“There’s no way Richie’s married!” Bev says loudly.

“No I got married,” Richie says seriously.

“Richie, I don’t believe it,” Bev says.

“When.” Eddie demands. As much as he’s loath to admit it, he pays attention to Richie’s career and would definitely have noticed.

“Did you not hear this?” Richie says.

Stan is rolling his eyes next to Richie. Eddie isn’t sure if he’s annoyed that they’ve fallen back into their usual pattern or if it’s something else. 

“No,” Eddie says.

“You didn’t know I got married?” Richie says, face earnest.

“No!” Eddie says.

“Yeah, no, me and your mom are very, very happy,” Richie says.

The table bursts into laughter. Bill nearly chokes on his beer.

“He totally fell for it!” Ben says.

Stan’s shaking his head fondly.

“Fuck you,” Eddie says. He can’t believe he fucking fell for that. But at the same time, he feels a little more settled.

Richie launches into a Jabba impression. Stan’s elbowing him again, but Richie seems committed.

“We all get it; my mom’s a great big fat person. Hilarious. Hysterical.” Eddie says sarcastically, but he’s still pleased to have Richie focused on him.

Richie shifts his attention to Ben and the weight loss and the fact that he’s hot. Which, Eddie has eyes, obviously Ben’s hot, but jealousy still flares deep in his gut over the fact that Richie noticed. Stan smacks Richie on the back of his head and Richie asks Eddie about his job.

He warily starts talking about what he does, and predictably, Richie acts like it’s putting him to sleep. Ben starts laughing and he turns to him.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” Eddie says. He thinks he should probably not drink anymore wine.

The conversation shifts and they’re all goofing around with each other. Bev pretends she’s going to kiss Richie and the jealousy makes Eddie grip his glass tightly even though she just ends up shoving a mouthful of food into Richie’s mouth.

Eddie goads Richie into arm wrestling. Richie’s hand is big, holy shit, when he wraps it around Eddie’s. Eddie’s breath catches in his throat a bit.

“Let’s take our shirts off and kiss,” he says, and luckily it comes out teasingly, rather than sincere. Eddie’s been working out, but Richie’s lanky frame is hiding some serious strength and he beats Eddie easily. Eddie’s breath catches again. He wonders if Richie could pick him up. He shakes himself out of it.

He and Richie and Stan fall into a quiet conversation.

“It’s weird, right,” Ben says, loud enough that he’s including all of them. “Now that we’re all here it all comes back faster and faster. I mean all of it.”

“Yeah, you know when Mike called me I threw up?” Richie says seriously. “Isn’t that weird? Like, I got nervous, I got, like, sick and I threw up. I feel fine now, I feel very relieved to be here with you guys.” He looks around the table. “Why’s everybody looking at me like this?”

Eddie knows that sometimes Richie shows his sensitive side and he can’t always take the scrutiny afterward, so Eddie quickly distracts the group.

“When Mike called me, I crashed my car,” Eddie says.

“Seriously?” Bill says.

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a laugh. It seems a little ridiculous.

“Man, I feel you. I mean my heart was pounding right out of my chest,” Ben says.

“I thought it was only me,” Bev says.

Stan is quiet next to Richie.

“It was like pure f-f-f-” Bill starts.

“Fear,” Mike says. “It’s fear. What you felt.”

“Why’d we all feel like that?” Bill asks. “You remember something we all didn’t, don’t you?”

“Something happens to you when you leave this town. Farther away, the hazier it all gets. But me, I never left. So yeah, I remember. I remember all of it,” Mike says.

“Pennywise,” Bev whispers.

“The fucking clown,” Eddie says, shaky and breathy. The fear from the memories slamming into him. 

Mike starts explaining why he called them all back.

They’re all sitting in a stunned silence while he explains.

“Well that shit got dark fast,” Richie says. “Thanks Mike.”

The bowl of fortune cookies in the center of the table starts to rattle.

“Nope,” Stan says loudly. “We’re out of here. We’ll get the check at the hostess table. Let’s go.” He hauls Richie and Bev up and starts shoving them towards the door. The rest of the Losers follow them up. As they’re leaving, noise starts coming from the table behind them.

“Don’t look at it,” Bev hisses.

“It’s not real,” Mike says, sounding a little dazed.

Stan calmly asks for the check. He pays quietly and shoves them towards the exit.

“Hey Richie,” a kid’s voice calls, and they all freeze and turn to look. “The fun’s just beginning.”

Stan, Bev, and Richie talk to the kid then Richie ducks down to get a picture with him. Apparently he’s a fan of Richie’s.

“How did you know he was a fan?” Richie asks Stan as the group makes their way out to the parking lot.

“Rich,” Stan says wearily. “That was a line from your standup.”

“Oh,” Richie says. “Huh.”

Stan snorts then he and Bev start laughing.

“I’m missing something,” Bill says, confusion on his face.

“Richie doesn’t write his material for his standup,” Bev chokes out.

“I fucking knew it!” Eddie crows. He knew there had to be a reason that Richie’s stand up wasn’t funny when he can remember Richie being funny when they were younger.

“Yeah, alright, trash the Trashmouth,” Richie rolls his eyes.

“So, what now?” Stan says.

“Now we need to remember,” Mike says.

“It’s easier when we’re together,” Stan says.

“Yeah,” Bev says. “Richie and I remembered a lot just by talking and seeing what came back to us.”

“Wait,” Bill says. “You’ve talked?”

“Yeah,” Bev grins.

“We spent the night together,” Richie leers.

“Creep,” Stan says.

“Stan was there too,” Bev winks. “We shared a bed.”

“Can you guys not make things weird?” Stan complains.

“Making things weird is what I do best, Stan the man,” Richie grins and throws an arm around Stan’s shoulders.

It’s painfully familiar, and it once again sends a tendril of jealousy through him. He knows it’s showing on his face, but there’s not much he can do about it.

“So, what now, Mikey? A trip down memory lane?” Richie asks.

“We need to remember what happened that summer,” Mike says.

“Great,” Richie says. “Let’s take it back to the Townhouse and cuddle our way through it.”

Eddie is staring at Richie now. He must look weird because Richie gives him a confused look.

“As much as I hate to say it,” Stan says from under Richie’s arm. “Richie’s right.”

Richie laughs and grins at Stan. Stan glares up at him. Bev giggles beside them.

“You guys,” Bill says then hesitates.

“You’re really comfortable with each other,” Eddie says, finishing Bill’s thought.

“Well yeah,” Bev says.

“We were always like this,” Richie says. “Why should it be any different now?”

“Richie is an overly affectionate puppy,” Stan says. “Give him an ounce of attention and he’ll be all over you for the rest of forever.”

Eddie knew that, Eddie had always bet on that.

“Aw Staniel,” Richie says. “That was almost nice.”

“Beep beep, Rich,” Stan rolls his eyes.

“So back to the Townhouse?” Ben asks.

“Seems like the best idea,” Bev says.

The others nod.

“Great!” Richie says.

Stan, Bev, and Richie head towards one car and Eddie makes his way quickly to his own.

Back at the Townhouse they take over the lounge. There’s still no staff in sight, so they settle in. Richie slumps onto the couch and Eddie slides down next to him. He carefully looks at Richie, half hoping that Richie will go ahead and sling his arm around him like he used to but apparently he made Richie cautious when he commented on the touching at the restaurant and he’s kicking himself over it. He’s trying to come up with a way to shift closer to Richie without being too obvious. He lets himself relax into the seat and Richie seems to relax a little as well. Bev drops down on Eddie’s other side and he thanks her internally because it gives him a reason to lean into Richie. Richie slings his arm along the back of the couch and Eddie settles in more, so now Richie’s arm is along his shoulders and their thighs are pressed together.

Eddie’s chest is tight with excitement and holy shit, having a crush is the fucking worst. He’d totally forgotten. He misses what happens, but next thing he knows, Bev’s tossing a blanket over the three of them. Stan takes one of the armchairs, Ben takes the other, and Bill and Mike take the other couch. They start talking, falling back into their easy, familiar patterns. They talk about everything, memories, what’s happening in their lives now. They’re dancing around the edges of the summer they fought the fucking clown.

Mike interrupts the storytelling to tell them about the ritual he found.

“So, what?” Richie says. “We need to come to terms with what we were afraid of that summer?”

“We have to have tokens,” Mike says, as if that clears anything up.

“I think it’s about what Richie said,” Stan says, and he and Mike and Richie bounce back and forth on what exactly it is they need to do.

Richie and Stan talk about Stan’s Bar Mitzvah. Stan says he was afraid of growing up. Bev says she was afraid of her dad. Bill says Georgie was his fault and the rest of them protest immediately. Bill is a smart guy, but he can really be stupid when he decides to be. Ben says he was afraid of losing all of them.

Eddie takes a deep breath. He’s nervous, he’s figured out all the shit that happened with the clown and what it all meant for him. His breathing speeds like he’s having an asthma attack, but he knows that’s bullshit so it must be a panic attack.

Richie looks at him, concern clear on his face. “Eds?” He says gently. “You okay?”

Eddie can’t get words out, so he shakes his head. Richie starts rubbing comforting circles into his back and the panic starts to ease. The others turn their attention away to let him have his moment in peace and it’s familiar enough that it almost makes him cry. He tries to match Richie’s breathing and manages to make his way back down. Bev leans against him to help ground him and he smiles gratefully at her.

“Thanks, Rich,” he says quietly.

“No problem, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie says, casual as ever, arm still around his shoulders.

Eddie lets it pass without comment.

He decides he’s got to tell them. He’s sick of keeping this inside.

“It was a leper. I was so afraid of being sick and my mom had me so in my head about it,” Eddie says. He takes a deep breath. “And she was always on me about other boys. I think, I think she had an idea about me. I think she knew-” Eddie cuts himself off. He takes another deep steadying breath. He can do this. He can do this.

“I think she knew I was gay,” He finishes shakily.

Bev congratulates him and Stan thanks him for telling them, for trusting them enough to tell them. Mike and Ben are grinning broadly at him, he thinks maybe they had him figured out when they were kids. Judging by the look Mike gives him and the way he looks to Richie afterwards, Mike definitely did. Eddie blushes and Ben winks at him, meaning Ben did too; fuck he’d thought that he was good at keeping it under wraps. The sparkle in Stan’s eyes says that once again, he’d been fooling himself. Bill looks surprised, which, gratifying, but thanks him for telling them.

Richie is noticeably silent. Noticeable because he’s always so loud. He, fuck, what if he’s not okay with this? Eddie’s gay, sure, but Richie hadn’t known when he was all over Eddie as a kid, that Eddie’d been harboring a crush the size of Maine on him. Eddie stiffens where he’s still pressed against Richie, still safely tucked under his arm. That’s about to stop, he’s sure of it.

“Rich?” Eddie says softly, trying, and failing, to keep the nerves out of his voice.

“I thought it was just me,” Richie whispers hoarsely.

Eddie looks up at him in confusion. Is he saying what Eddie thinks he’s saying? Is he, too? His heart is slamming against his ribs.

“Are, wait, what are you saying, Rich?” Eddie asks.

Richie chokes on a laugh. “Eddie, I’m fucking gay. I thought I was the only one. Holy shit.” He says. “It was never clowns; I lied when we talked about it. But I couldn’t tell you then.”

Stan and Bev let out a whoop. The two of them jump up and grab each other in an excited hug.

“I’m missing something,” Bill says for the second time today.

“I told Bev and Stan way, way back,” Richie says. “They’ve been encouraging me to tell you guys.”

“Proud of you, Rich,” Stan says and smacks a kiss to Richie’s forehead. The jealous monster in Eddie’s stomach rears its ugly head again, but Richie hasn’t let go of Eddie, and Eddie’s able to fight it back down.

“Thanks, Stan,” Richie grins up at him. He’s beautiful like this, happy, content, with his friends, his family.

“Eddie, aren’t you married to a woman?” Mike says, pulling his attention away from where he’s blatantly staring at Richie. He’s definitely going to have to get that under control.

Eddie shoots Mike a grateful look and Mike nods slightly.

“Technically?” Eddie says, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. He tries to gather his thoughts to explain and ends up rambling. “I told her I wanted a divorce right before I left. Like I knew but I was hiding it and I think getting married just kinda happened to me. Like, I never went out of my way looking for anything. But mom introduced me to Myra and suddenly we were dating and then we were getting married and it all kind of just happened. I never really, like had a say in it.”

“That fucking sucks,” Ben, the fucking romantic, says “Eddie, I’m so sorry.”

“I get that,” Bev says. “I basically married my dad, you guys. I left him when I left to come here.”

Richie’s hand leaves his shoulder to squeeze Bev’s reassuringly.

“My wife told me she wanted a divorce right before I left,” Bill admits quietly.

“Are all of your lives a disaster?” Stan asks, incredulous.

“Staniel, I think you are the only functional one around here,” Richie says.

They all burst into laughter and the heavy tension in the room dissipates. They decide to get some sleep so they can tackle It with fresh minds in the morning. As they all head up the stairs, Bev, Richie and Stan have some sort of silent conversation before Stan sighs heavily.

“You guys want to have an old school Losers sleepover?” Stan asks.

“What?” Bill says.

“Like we used to when we stayed at Bill’s?” Ben asks.

“Exactly,” Bev grins.

“I’m in,” Mike says easily.

“Me too,” Eddie smiles. Those were some of the best times in his childhood memory. All of them together, talking late into the night.

“Alright,” Bill says. “But I don’t think we’ll all fit in the bed.”

“Not with that attitude,” Richie says.

“We’ll just drag some of the other mattresses into my room,” Stan says, rolling his eyes at Richie. “Go get changed.”

They disperse to change and Eddie locks himself in his room. He sits heavily on the bed and lets himself shake through a minor panic at being out for the first time in his life. His friends are really the best. He thinks about the way Richie had frozen at his confession, the way Richie had acted all night, the way Richie had acted with him when they were kids and thinks maybe Richie, he shouldn’t. No, fuck that, maybe Richie might feel something for him too?

He should, he should talk to Richie.

He changes clothes and eases his door open. There’s no one in the hall. He slips out of his room and locks the door behind him, tiptoes down to Richie’s room. He knocks.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” Richie calls through the closed door.

Richie pulls the door open and Eddie freezes. He didn’t think this through, he has no idea what to say.

He opens his mouth. “Hey,” is all he can get out.

“Hey,” Richie says, looking at him, his eyes gone a little wide.

“Can, uh, can we talk for a second?” Eddie says. If he hedges a little, he may be able to piece his thoughts together.

“Sure, Eds,” Richie says, and steps back to let Eddie into the room.

Eddie steps inside and Richie pushes the door shut behind him.

“I-” Eddie starts, then sighs. He can’t just tell Richie he’s in love with him. That’s coming on way too fucking strong. Okay, he’ll ease into it.

Richie stays uncharacteristically quiet while Eddie thinks.

“I thought I was the only one too,” Eddie says. He figures this is a good place to start.

“Wha- is this about me being gay?” Richie says. God, Eddie’s in love with a dumbass.

“Yeah, dipshit,” Eddie smiles. “I had no idea.”

“I think you were the only one,” Richie says with a smile. “Bev and Stan always told me I was so fucking obvious.”

“But you told them, right?” Eddie says. They knew with certainty judging by their reaction to Richie’s announcement and the fact that Richie told them that Stan and Bev had been trying to get him to tell the rest of them.

“I needed someone to talk to. Stan had me figured out and Bev caught me in the midst of a freak-out,” Richie says.

“Why didn’t,” Eddie takes a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He gets it, he definitely gets it, but he and Richie had always been so close so he figured that if Stan and Bev knew, he would have also told Eddie. He’s pulled out of his mental spiral by Richie’s self-deprecating laugh.

“I couldn’t tell you, Eds,” Richie says, he seems a little frantic. “I couldn’t tell you; I had a massive fucking crush on you.”

“On me?” Eddie says. He can’t fucking believe it. There’s no fucking way.

“Yeah, dipshit,” Richie parrots. And god, he’s infuriating.

“No fucking way. You’re bullshitting me,” Eddie says. He can’t wrap his brain around this.

“I swear I’m not, Eds. You can ask Stan and Bev. I had the biggest crush on you,” Richie says.

“What the fuck, Rich!” Eddie says, brain still half hung up on the very concept. “You should have said something, holy shit.”

“What was I supposed to do, Eds?” Richie says defensively. “Just come up to you one day like, hey, Eds, I know we live in this shitty backwards town and it’s the fucking eighties but I’m in love with you and want to date you and spend the rest of my fucking life with you.”

Eddie thinks he might cry. Trust Richie to fucking devastate him with an insane love confession.

“You were in love with me?” Eddie says, sure his voice is barely audible.

“I-” Richie says, eyes once again wide behind his glasses. Ah, he hadn’t meant to tell him. But Eddie is so fucking glad he did.

“Rich,” Eddie says. “You were in love with me?”

“Yeah,” Richie whispers.

“You,” Eddie says. Fucking hell, the confirmation really threatens to send him into tears. “Really?”

“Yeah, Eds,” Richie says. He won’t meet Eddie’s eyes.

“Do you” Eddie’s cut off by a knock on the door.

“Rich, you coming?” Bill calls through the door.

“Yeah, Big Bill. You need me to bring my mattress?” Richie calls back.

“Nah, I think we’ve got enough. You know where Eddie is?” Bill says.

Richie looks at Eddie. He’s not done with this conversation and really, he doesn’t want Bill to interrupt them now, so he shakes his head.

“No, maybe he’s in the bathroom,” Richie says.

“Maybe,” Bill says. “See you in a minute, Rich.”

Richie looks at Eddie. Eddie looks back.

“We are so not done with this conversation, asshole,” Eddie says.

“Okay,” Richie nods.

“I’m serious,” Eddie says. “We’re going to finish this.”

Richie nods, but it doesn’t seem that he gets what Eddie is poorly trying to tell him. Fuck it. He surges forward to plant a kiss on Richie’s mouth.

Richie does not seem to have expected it. He’s frozen and Eddie panics a little. He pulls back and looks hard at Richie.

“Shit, should I not have-” He starts but Richie cuts him off with a kiss. Eddie’s heart is pounding and his stomach swoops and in that moment he’s the happiest he’s ever been.

“Fuck, Eds,” Richie breathes when they separate.

“Not right now,” Eddie says. He’s not sure where it comes from, except Richie’s influence and his fucking newfound libido.

“You’re fucking killing me,” Richie groans.

“I really hope not,” Eddie smiles, he had no idea he could be so fucking sappy. “You’re kind of the love of my life. I really prefer you alive.”

“I, Eddie, what?” Richie says.

“You thought I came in and kissed you just because you said you were gay?” Eddie says incredulously. What a fucking idiot, honestly.

“I didn’t really have much time to think about it, Eds,” Richie says softly. “I was a little preoccupied by confessing my apparently undying love for you.”

“You, still, Rich?” Eddie says, because sure, Richie said he had a massive crush on him as a kid, but not anything about now.

“Yeah, Eds, I do,” Richie says softly. Eddie’s fucked; Rich is a bigger sap than Eddie just figured out he is. Eddie can practically feel how in love with him Richie is. And he’s so in love with Richie, holy fuck.

“Ok, ok, seriously. If we wait too much longer, they’ll come looking for us. We gotta go. But we’re still not done with this conversation. Tomorrow, or after, or whatever, we’re having a real conversation about this,” Eddie says.

Richie nods. Eddie nods in return and turns toward the door.

“Hey, Eddie,” Richie says quietly.

Eddie turns back. “Yeah, Rich?”

“Just so we’re totally clear, and just in case something happens, I love you,” Richie says. He’s shaking, and Eddie thinks he must be scared of this blowing up in his face. Eddie’s glad to be able to reassure him.

“Rich,” he says gently. “I love you too.”

Richie is crying. Eddie reaches up to wipe away the tears.

“I mean it that we’re talking about this later. I’ve got you back, Rich, I’m not letting you go again,” Eddie says.

Richie nods and swallows noticeably.

“Ok. I’m going to go and join the others. Wait a minute before you come in, ok?” Eddie says.

Richie nods.

“Okay,” Eddie says and presses one more quick kiss against Richie’s cheek. “See you in there.”

Eddie makes his way back down to Stan’s room.

“There you are!” Ben says.

Eddie rolls his eyes.

Richie walks into to the room, shoulders back like he’s going to start making jokes but what comes out instead is a choked off sob. Bev jumps up and wraps him in a hug.

“What’s wrong, Rich?” she asks gently.

“Nothing,” Richie says. “I’ve just missed you guys.”

The Losers join in for a massive group hug. They hold on to each other tightly until Richie clears his throat.

“Okay, okay, I’m good, too much affection, take it away,” Richie says.

They laugh and let go. Bev pulls Richie to the bed with her and Stan. Mike and Bill settle onto another mattress and Ben and Eddie take the third. They fall asleep quickly. Much quicker than Eddie would have expected since they’d been talking about their fucking childhood trauma.

The next morning, a crash from down the hall wakes them all up. They sit up and look around at each other in mild terror.

“Did we lock the door last night?” Bev asks seriously.

Mike checks the door and locks it quickly.

“Ok, what’s the plan?” Stan says. “We can’t just hole up in this room forever.”

“Maybe it’s the cleaning lady?” Richie suggests.

Stan shoots him an unimpressed look. Eddie nearly laughs at it.

“We have to get changed and get moving,” Mike says.

“We’re not going anywhere alone,” Stan says. “Partner up.”

“I’ll go with Bill,” Mike says. Bill nods at him.

“I’ll go with Ben,” Bev says. Ben looks at her in surprise, but nods.

“That leaves me, Eddie, and Stan,” Richie says.

“Losers gotta stick together,” Bill smiles.

“Ok. Let’s move. We’ll go get dressed and meet back up here,” Mike says. “Keep your eyes on your partner. We don’t know who’s in here with us.”

Mike, Bill, Ben, and Bev leave the room and Richie locks the door behind them. Stan grabs a change of clothes and ducks into the bathroom to get ready. He steps back out.

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “There’s no way that was two minutes, dude.” He says. He’s distracting himself from the situation, he knows he’s doing it. It’s fine, he’s fine, they’re fine.

Stan grins at him. “You gonna time me next time?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Where to next?” he asks.

“Richie’s,” Stan says decisively. “His is the furthest out, so there first.”

Eddie and Richie nod and they ease out of the room, locking the door behind them.

Richie unlocks his door and opens it slowly. The room looks empty. They step inside and Stan stays by the door as Richie ducks into his bathroom to check for intruders.

“Clear,” Richie says. Stan locks the door.

Richie grabs some clothes and ducks into the bathroom. He is in there for way too short a time for him to actually have brushed his teeth. When he steps out of the bathroom Eddie raises an eyebrow at him.

“That definitely wasn’t two minutes,” He says.

“Nope!” Richie says then smacks an obnoxious kiss against his cheek.

Eddie shoves at him and Stan rolls his eyes. They make their way cautiously back out of Richie’s room and down to Eddie’s. The door is cracked open.

A wave of terror washes over him and he looks at the others with wide eyes. Richie steps forward and slowly swings the door the rest of the way open. The room itself is empty, Eddie’s bags sitting untouched in the corner.

Richie, the dumbass, steps into the room.

“Richie!” Eddie hisses, trying to get him to come back out.

“There’s no one in here, Eds,” Richie says.

Mike yells from down the hall. They exchange a look, then take off for Bill’s room. Eddie is the first through the door, with Richie and Stan close behind. Mike is wrestling with holy shit is that fucking Henry Bowers?

Mike’s bleeding from his arm. He’s on his back on the floor and Henry is crouched over him trying to drive a knife into his chest.

Eddie isn’t sure what he’s thinking, except, maybe he’s not and he surges forward and pulls at Bowers. Bowers falls backward into Eddie and they crash to the floor.

Bowers has somehow stuck himself with his own knife in the fall. He’s struggling where he lays mostly on top of Eddie, trying to get to the knife in his own chest. Eddie manages to trap his arms and Richie dives in to grab the knife before Bowers can get loose and get it.

Richie bounces back up to his feet and Eddie shoves Bowers off of himself and rolls back to his feet. He’s surprised by his ability to make the move happen, but it’s probably just the adrenaline.

Bowers is hurt, badly hurt. But he’s still moving so their work isn’t done yet.

“What do we do now?” Eddie hisses to Richie. He’s pressed up close to him.

“I don’t fucking know,” Richie hisses back, his voice high pitched and shaky.

Bowers is back up. He lumbers around to face them.

“Look at that, two fucking fairies for the price of one,” He sneers. “It’s your time.”

Richie freezes. Something in Eddie says there’s more to that than the immediate terror. Eddie yanks the knife out of Richie’s slack grip and manages to get it between him and Bowers as Bowers lunges for them.

The knife goes deep into his gut. Eddie twists it a little and Bowers drops to his knees and the knife slips free. He’s bleeding a lot now.

Ben and Bev come charging through the door.

“Holy shit!” Bev says.

“Fuck you,” Bowers snarls with what appears to be the last of his energy. He slumps to the floor.

“Is he-?” Ben asks.

“I fucking hope so,” Eddie says. The knife is still in his hand.

Ben gently takes it from him and rolls Bowers onto his back. He checks for a pulse.

“I think he is,” Ben says. “Holy shit.”

“How did he even get here?” Bev says. “I thought that he took the blame for all the child murders that summer.”

“He did,” Mike says. “He was up at Juniper Hill. Must’ve broken out.”

“Shit, Mike,” Richie says. “Are you okay?”

“He just got me in the arm,” Mike says.

“It’s more like a scrape than anything. Not very deep,” Stan says reassuringly.

“Doesn’t even need stitches,” Mike grins. “Thanks, Eddie.”

Eddie blushes and nods.

“Wait,” Richie says. “Where the fuck is Bill?”

“In the fucking bathroom!” Bill yells. “Can someone let me out now?”

“Did you lock him in the bathroom?” Stan says to Mike.

“Not intentionally?” Mike says, picture of innocence. Liar.

“Sure,” Stan says knowingly and moves to let Bill out.

The adrenaline is draining out of Eddie’s system. He’s starting to breathe heavily. Shit. He tries to get control of his breathing, but he doesn’t think it’s working.

“Eddie, you wanna get changed?” Richie says softly.

Eddie nods gratefully.

“Hey, we’re gonna go get Eddie changed,” Richie says to the others. The others nod and Richie maneuvers the two of out of the room.

Once they get to Eddie’s room, Richie shuts and locks the door behind them.

“Hey,” he says softly. “You okay?”

“I just,” Eddie swallows. He hadn’t thought, he’d just fucking, “I just killed him.”

“You were helping Mike. And he would have killed you if you hadn’t gotten him first,” Richie says.

“Not helping,” Eddie says, tension replacing all the fled adrenaline.

“Ok, ok,” Richie thinks. “Hey, it was pretty badass.”

“What?” Eddie’s lost, what the hell is Richie talking about?

“Yeah, like I was impressed. Are you hiding some serious abs under that terrible sweatshirt? Cause I’ve been working out, but I definitely can’t roll up off the floor like that.” Richie says.

Again, what the fuck?

“I mean, I work out,” Eddie says, brow furrowed in confusion.

“I guess it pays off,” Richie says. He gives Eddie a look he’s not able to decipher. “Sorry,” Richie says quietly.

Okay, he’s not going to be able to figure this out himself, so he just, asks.

“Wait, Rich, what just happened?” Eddie says.

“Where do you want me to start from?” Richie says.

“Were you, were you saying I’m, I’m attractive?” Eddie asks. It’s probably not where he should start, but it’s the only thing he can think about right now.

“Wait, what?” Richie asks.

“Just then, about working out,” Eddie says. He probably should let this go, come back to it at a more appropriate time.

“Uh, dude, yeah,” Richie says.

“Huh,” Eddie says thoughtfully. He’s never really thought of himself as attractive, especially compared to Richie.

“What?” Richie asks. He sounds confused.

Eddie really shouldn’t keep dwelling on this.

“Let’s add that to the conversation we’re not done with, ok?” Eddie says.

“Ok,” Richie says. “Hey, you should like, get changed and shit.”

“Right, yes, on it,” Eddie grabs clothes out of one of his suitcases and ducks into the bathroom.

He does not rush though his routine, because he knows it’ll be stuck in his head all day if he doesn’t do everything like he should. When he finally emerges from the bathroom he finds Richie lost in thought in the chair in the corner of the room. He’s cute, but Eddie should not be focused on that right now.

He steps over and waves his hand in front of Richie’s face. No response. He smirks down at Richie and waits for him to come out of whatever rabbit trail his mind has followed.

Richie finally registers that Eddie is in front of him.

“Whatcha thinking about, Rich?” Eddie says teasingly.

“Nothing in particular, just remembering things.” Richie says.

“You’re cute when you’re thinking,” Eddie says. Shit, he hadn’t meant to say it. But the thunderstruck look on Richie’s face makes it so, so fucking worth it.

Eddie giggles then leans down to kiss Richie’s cheek.

“Come on, Trashmouth,” he says, pulling Richie up. “Let’s get back to the others so we can get on with whatever shit we have to do and get back to this conversation we’re not through with.”

Eddie pulls Richie back down to Stan’s room. Stan is carefully bandaging Mike’s arm.

“So what now?” Ben asks.

“We may remember, but we need to have tokens so we can summon and trap It,” Mike says.

“So, we need tokens that represent what we were afraid of?” Stan asks.

“Something that represents us from that summer,” Mike says.

Stan nods thoughtfully as he finishes taping down the bandages on Mike’s arm.

“Ok. Let’s split into groups again,” Stan says.

“We were alone that summer,” Mike says.

“It is not safe for us to wander around alone. If we want to make it out of this alive, we’ve got to stick together,” Stan says, voice authoritative.

“Stick with your buddy.” Eddie says.

“We can go in the same groups, if that’s ok with everyone?” Stan says.

The others nod.

“Actually,” Mike says. “I already have mine. So, Stan, if you want to come with me and Bill that gives each group two tokens to find.”

Stan nods. “That ok with you, Rich?”

Richie nods.

“Okay. We’ll meet back up in a couple hours,” Mike says.

They file out of the Townhouse and split off into groups.

“Where to, Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie asks.

Eddie’s really going soft; he doesn’t say anything about the nickname.

“I,” Eddie starts. “I think mine is an inhaler. I’ll call one in at the pharmacy.”

Richie sits on the curb while Eddie makes his call.

It’s stupidly easy to get the inhaler prescription set up. He turns back to Richie, who looks freaked out.

Richie’s breathing is too fast and Eddie crouches in front of him.

“Hey, hey, Rich, you’re okay. We’re okay. Come on, look at me, breathe with me, come on Rich,” Eddie says, but it doesn’t seem like Richie hears him.

Suddenly, Richie shoves him aside and throws up. Aw, fuck.

“Aw, gross, Rich,” Eddie says, and fishes a handkerchief out of his pocket and wipes at Richie’s mouth.

“Just living up to the Trashmouth name,” Richie jokes weakly.

“What happened?” Eddie asks gently.

“I, I just remembered something,” Richie sighs.

“Must’ve been something, alright,” Eddie looks at him appraisingly. He looks shaken, and Eddie’s not quite sure what to say here.

“I know what my token is,” Richie says. “Come on.” It surprises Eddie, but he follows after Richie.

They walk towards town and Eddie laughs when they approach the arcade.

“I should have guessed,” Eddie says.

“You couldn’t have guessed,” Richie says wryly. “I spent a ton of time here, yeah, but this, no one was there for it. Bowers, man, he.”

Aw hell, this is what had Richie freaked back at the Townhouse and outside.

Eddie puts a hand on his arm. “Rich, you don’t have to tell me,” Eddie says.

“I know, but I, I need to,” Richie says. “It’s hard to explain why, but, I feel like I need to tell someone.”

“Ok, Rich, just, I’m not gonna pressure you to tell me anything,” Eddie says reassuringly.

“I know,” Richie smiles. He takes a deep breath. “I, I was playing Streetfighter with this guy I hadn’t met before. He was nice, things were fine. The game ended and I asked if he wanted to play another round. Then Bowers came in. and apparently, the guy was his cousin, and he started spouting some shit about me being weird and how he wasn’t my boyfriend and Bowers gave me shit and called me, well, you know what, in front of everybody. Then I left and went to the park and It brought the fucking lumberjack statue to life and it chased me across the park.”

Richie is shaking and Eddie pulls him in for a hug.

“Hey, hey, Rich, it’s ok. They can’t do anything to you now. You’re ok, there’s nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with either of us,” Eddie says, holding onto him like it can make up for all the fear Richie’s endured all this time.

“Thanks, Eds,” Richie says.

Eddie pulls back and smiles at him. “Don’t call me that, asshole.”

“Aw, you love it,” Richie says. He slings an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and opens the door to the arcade.

Richie gets a token out of the machine and they duck back outside. They head down to the pharmacy and Eddie goes to the counter to get his inhaler. Mr. Keene is still around, and creepier than ever. Eddie takes the inhaler with a bit of a grimace. He’s standing there watching Keene walk away and remembers the day It showed him his mother being attacked by the leper in the basement. He can almost hear her voice, and he mindlessly moves towards the basement.

It looks much neater than the horror he can remember, but he’s aware that most of that was a figment of his imagination, or, a manipulation of It, or whatever. The sheet curtain is there, and he would have guessed that was part of the It thing, but apparently not. He cautiously makes his way towards the sheet and slides it open. Nothing. Of course. He turns, only to be met with the fucking leper. Its hands are around his throat and he realizes he’s gotta get loose. Maybe if he can get its hands off of his throat he can call for Richie. He’s fighting back, focused on getting through it and manages to get his own hands around the leper’s throat. It’s weakly fighting back, Eddie’s forgotten about calling out for Richie, he’s screaming wordlessly at the leper as he chokes it. It apparently decides it doesn’t like that it’s losing because it drops its jaw and spews black goo all over him, including directly in his mouth. He wipes at his face so he can see, and it’s gone.

“Holy fuck,” he says. He stiffly makes his way back upstairs.

Richie spots him and does a double take.

“Eddie? What the fuck happened?” Richie says.

Eddie shakes his head. “I need a shower,” he says.

“Okay,” Richie says, looking at him in concern.

They quickly make their way back to the Townhouse. Bev and Ben are sitting on the steps. Bev gasps when she sees him.

“Eddie!” she says. “What happened?”

He shakes his head again. He can’t explain until he’s clean.

“He’s gonna grab a shower,” Richie says. He’s close behind Eddie as Eddie makes his way to his room.

Eddie lets them in and goes to wash his hands. He needs a change of clothes but doesn’t want to get anything dirty. He picks out clean clothes then goes into the bathroom and starts the shower. He methodically strips his slime covered clothes off. He feels a little better almost immediately after stepping under the too hot spray of the shower. But the curtain is too reminiscent of the fucking sheet in the basement and he can’t be in here alone.

“Richie?” He calls. If Richie is in the room, then he can keep an eye out and It won’t be on the other side of the curtain when he gets out.

“Yeah, Eds?” Richie calls back.

“Can you come in here, please?” he asks, his voice shaky.

Richie cracks the door. “Hey, you asked me to come in?” Rich asks, like he’s checking to be sure he heard correctly.

“Yeah, just, if you’re in here then It’s not on the other side of the curtain, you know?” Eddie says. Shit, he still sounds shaky. Maybe he’s a little more freaked than he thought.

“Absolutely, Spaghetti man,” Richie says and comes into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

Eddie is grateful for the normalcy. “Don’t call me that, asshole,” he snaps back and some of the anxiety abates.

Richie shuffles around a little but stays quiet. Eddie was hoping he’d come in running his mouth like always. He was counting on it, actually. For Richie’s chatter to distract him from the fear in the back of his mind.

“Rich,” Eddie says, trying to prompt him into talking.

“Yeah, Eds?”

“Why the fuck aren’t you talking? Who are you?” he says, trying to sound annoyed instead of scared. He’s not successful.

“Sorry, Eds,” Richie says and falls silent again.

“What’s LA like?” Eddie says, trying to prompt Richie. Maybe it’ll give him a springboard to launch into a story.

“Hot,” Richie says. “Busy.”

“Really painting a picture with your words there, Rich,” Eddie says.

“Just for you, baby,” Richie says carelessly.

And oh, he had no idea he’d like that. But he likes it a lot. He goes hot, his breath hitches.

“Rich,” Eddie says, meaning to sound annoyed but it comes out low, turned on. Which what, since when is he like this?

“Don’t do this to me, Eds,” Richie says, his voice dipping low.

“I’m not doing anything!” Eddie squeaks in protest. “Come on, please, talk about something!”

“Talk about what?” Richie asks.

“Anything,” Eddie says.

“You like the sound of my voice, Eds?” Richie says in that same low register. It sends shivers down Eddie’s spine.

“Richie,” He says warningly. “I need you to talk to distract me, so I don’t have a fucking panic attack in the fucking shower.”

It’s like Eddie flipped a switch.

“No problemo, Eduardo!” Richie says obnoxiously. “So you wanna hear all about what me and your mom get up to in the big LA?”

Eddie groans. Of fucking course.

“You asked for it, Eddie Spaghetti! Can’t take it back now.” Richie says.

“I should have fucking known,” Eddie says, and really, he should have.

Richie laughs. “Nah, man, LA’s fine. A lot of big fancy houses, cool things do, cool things to see. Honestly, man, it’s kinda lonely. Especially compared to when I was on SNL.”

“No friends, no dates?” Eddie asks. He’s curious. Richie’s great, why wouldn’t people want to be around him?

“Not really. I meet with my manager and my writers, I go to my local shows, I go on tour, I occasionally work on film or tv sets. It more than pays the bills,” Richie says.

“Rich, are you, are you happy?” Eddie asks cautiously.

“I don’t think I’ve been happy in a long time, Eds,” Richie says, and it sounds like a confession. It sounds like a glimpse into his soul. He must be so fucking lonely, out there in alone in LA. Eddie aches for him.

He realizes suddenly how he’s always known that something was missing from his life. That’s why he’s so driven, pushing himself in his career, in his workout sessions, like if he just tries hard enough it’ll fix whatever he knows is wrong but can’t place. It’s Richie. Of course, it’s Richie that’s been missing. Richie and all the others. His real family. God, this is depressing.

Richie clears his throat. “So, Bev and Ben were back here pretty quickly,” he changes the subject.

“How long do you think it’ll take before they figure their shit out?” Eddie says as he finishes methodically scrubbing himself down.

“Bev and Ben?” Richie asks.

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Ben’s always had a crush on Bev.”

“Oh, yeah, and Bev definitely had a thing for the new kid, but also Bill,” Richie says.

“Everyone had a thing for Bill at some point,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “It’s like a requirement.”

Richie laughs. “When did you have a thing for Bill?” he asks.

“When did you?” Eddie shoots back and turns the water off.

“Oh, uh, do you want me to go?” Richie says.

Eddie sticks his arm out of the curtain. “Hand me my towel,” He says.

Richie pushes it into his hand and Eddie dries off behind the curtain then wraps the towel around his waist. He starts to open the curtain.

“You sure you don’t want me to go?” Richie squeaks.

“Nah, I want you to tell me when you had a crush on Bill,” Eddie says. He pulls the curtain all the way open and steps out of the shower.

Richie is pointedly staring up at the ceiling. “Uh, right when I first started hanging out with you guys. I fucking, I fucking had a crush on you cause you were so fucking cute, but you were so mean when Bill asked me to hang out with you guys. And Bill was so nice to me. I think he was trying to make up for you being so mean.”

“Sorry, Rich,” Eddie says, he’s blushing. He sees Richie’s head move in his peripherals but notes that Richie is back to glaring at the ceiling. Oh, he must be nervous about how Eddie will take it if he looks at him. He moves to reassure him.

“Hey,” he says gently. “Rich, it’s okay. It’s okay, you can look, I won’t be mad.”

Richie squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head a little.

“I promise, Rich,” Eddie says. “If I wasn’t comfortable with the thought of you seeing me like this yet, then I would have made you leave the bathroom.”

“Eddie,” Richie says, it sounds broken and it breaks Eddie’s heart a little.

“Rich,” Eddie urges gently. He needs to make it okay. “Look at me.”

Richie tilts his head down and opens his eyes to meet Eddie’s. His eyes are wide and he looks spooked.

“It’s okay,” Eddie says again, willing Richie to believe him. “I’m not trying to pressure you into anything Rich, but I don’t want you to hold yourself back because you’re afraid of scaring me off. I’m not letting you go again.”

Richie is crying. Eddie smiles fondly at him and wipes the tears off his cheeks then presses a soft kiss to his forehead. He can tell Richie needs space right now, so he pulls back and turns his attention to his hair.

“I had a crush on Bill then. Back before you started hanging out with us. I was so mad when he brought you to hang out with us. I was so jealous.” Eddie says to distract Richie. “But it didn’t end up lasting that much longer.”

“Oh yeah?” Richie asks.

“Yeah,” Eddie says. He’s blushing with the admission. “Bill ditched me to work on a school project with a girl and I was so mad because he used to walk me home every day. But you found me and walked me home. Then you never stopped walking me home. Then after that one really bad asthma attack I had, you started carrying a spare around for me. And bam, that was it, I was stupid in love with you.”

“Holy fuck, Eds,” Richie says, looking at him wide-eyed.

“I know.” Eddie laughs at himself. It’s a little pathetic how long he’s been in love with Richie.

“God, I was so mad at Bill that day,” Richie says.

“So your crush on Bill didn’t last long,” Eddie teases, but he’s confused.

“Nah, how could it have, with you around,” Richie says.

“Jesus, Rich,” Eddie says, cause it punches him in the gut. His chest feels tight and he’s so, so happy. This is what it feels like. Holy shit, he gets it now.

“Sorry,” Richie says.

“No, don’t apologize you huge fucking sap,” Eddie lets out a soft laugh.

Richie looks confused.

Eddie’s gotta kiss him. He turns toward him only to remember he’s just in a towel. Heat blooms in his chest and he briefly thinks about what might happen if he straddled Richie’s lap right now. He pushes it down.

“Eddie, holy shit, how much do you work out?” Richie says.

“Uh, a lot, actually. If I’m at the gym, I’m not at home,” Eddie confesses.

“Lemme tell ya, it’s really paying off,” Richie says, eyes on Eddie’s stomach.

“Alright, go. Let me put my clothes on,” Eddie says, laughing.

Richie grins up at him and salutes, then slips out of the bathroom.

Eddie puts his clothes on quickly. He’s going to go out there and kiss Richie, where it won’t get him into something he’s not ready for yet. He walks out of the bathroom with single minded determination.

“What’s up, Eds?” Richie asks from where he’s plopped back down in the chair.

Eddie doesn’t say anything. Instead he hauls Richie out of the chair and kisses him. Richie holds on to him and he feels, protected maybe, and a little protective of him. He kisses Richie till he can’t breathe and pulls back to rest his forehead against Richie’s chest.

“I should have known you’d be a closet romantic,” He says, picking up the trail of their conversation from before he kicked Richie out of the bathroom.

“Is that a bad thing?” Richie asks hesitantly.

“No,” Eddie says, pulling back to look Richie in the eye. He needs him to believe this. “Absolutely not. I fucking love it.”

There’s some kind of commotion coming from downstairs.

“Bill, I swear to god!” Stan yells.

A door slams.

“Richie! Eddie!” Ben calls from the other side of the door.

They reluctantly release each other, and Eddie pulls the door open.

“What’s happening, Ben?” Eddie asks.

“You guys okay?” Ben asks.

“We’re fine, why?” Eddie says.

“IT got to Bill downstairs,” Ben sighs. “We were worried about you guys for a second. Should’ve known Richie’d take care of you though.” Ben smirks.

“Pot or kettle today, Haystack?” Richie says.

Ben grins at Richie then focuses back on whatever is going on downstairs.

“Bill took off for the fair. Wouldn’t let any of us go with him. Something about needing to save a kid.” Ben explains.

“He ran off by himself?” Richie asks.

“Yeah,” Ben sighs. “Stan barely managed to grab Mike before he followed Bill right out the door.”

“It’s trying to separate us,” Eddie realizes.

“That’s what Stan thinks,” Ben nods.

“That happened to us at the pharmacy. I’m not sure why we thought It couldn’t get us here,” Richie says. His breathing is a little fast and Eddie will not stand for that. He reaches out and grabs Richie’s hand. Richie squeezes his hand gratefully.

Ben looks at their joined hands and grins at Eddie. Eddie rolls his eyes at Ben. “Are we going after Bill?” Eddie asks.

“I came to get you guys. The others were trying to come up with a plan. Come on,” Ben says.

They head downstairs where they find Stan pacing.

Richie pulls away from Eddie with an apologetic smile. Eddie lets him go; knows he needs to comfort Stan.

“Stan, hey,” Richie says gently.

Stan stops pacing and looks up at him. “What now, Rich?” he says.

“First, we don’t panic. Second, we come up with a plan,” Richie says and slings his arm around Stan’s shoulders.

“Mike, now that we went on the scavenger hunt from hell, what’s the next step?” Richie asks.

“We have to perform the ritual,” Mike says.

“Okay, does everyone have their token or whatever?” Richie asks.

The others nod, except Mike.

“It’s at the library, with the vessel we need for the ritual. I, I figured we’d all find our artifacts and come back here then swing by the library on the way.” Mike says.

“That’s fine, you couldn’t have known Bill’s brain would fall out of his fucking head,” Stan says.

“Okay, emotions are high, but we can figure this out, Stan the man,” Richie says, running a comforting hand down Stan’s arm.

“We should go get Bill, right?” Bev says nervously.

“We should.” Eddie says. “But let’s swing by the library on the way. The fair will be crowded and there’s only so much trouble Bill can get into there.”

Richie sends a grateful smile Eddie’s way. Eddie smiles back. 

“Okay,” Richie says. “I’ll drive. We’ll all fit in my rental.”

“It’s a good thing you got such a big car, Rich,” Bev says.

Richie shrugs and herds them all out and into the car. They quickly make their way over to the library and go inside to grab what they’ll need for their next, adventure. Mike has a box full of flashlights and headlamps and climbing gear.

Eddie holds the rope up to Mike with a questioning glance.

Mike shrugs. “We don’t actually know what’s down there. I figure it’s better to be prepared ahead of time than get stuck,” he says.

They load Mike’s supplies into the back of Richie’s SUV and pile back in. Before Richie can get the car turned on, Mike’s phone is ringing.

“Where are you?” Mike answers.

There’s some yelling from the other side of the line. They all watch Mike in a tense silence.

“Stay there, we’ll come get you,” He says, then pulls the phone away from his ear to look at it incredulously.

“What’s up, Mikey?” Richie asks, cranking the engine.

“Bill’s going after It alone,” Mike says.

“There’s only one place he’ll go,” Bev says.

“Same place we need to perform the ritual,” Mike says.

“Niebolt,” Stan says. “Fuck.”

“You can say that again, Staniel,” Richie grumbles then turns the car that direction.

They get there right as Bill starts up the porch stairs. He must hear them behind him because he turns to face them with some dumb speech about how it’s all his fault and they shouldn’t be doing this. There’s some talk about how they have to do this together going on, but Eddie’s focused on how still and quiet Richie is next to him. He wordlessly takes Richie’s hand again, which seems to break him out of whatever he was trapped in. Once again, Richie squeezes hand in return.

“Richie said it best when we were here last,” Bill says.

Richie’s head jerks up to look at Bill. “I did? I don’t wanna die?” he offers.

“No,” Bill says.

“You’re lucky we’re not measuring dicks?” he says, an attempt at lightening the mood that falls just a little flat.

Bill shakes his head.

Richie thinks for a second. “Let’s kill this fucking clown?”

Bill grins at him.

“Let’s kill this fucking clown,” Richie says, a little more confident.

The others smile at him and they all gear up with the stuff from Mike’s boxes.

They head cautiously inside.

“Love what he’s done with the place,” Richie snarks.

“Beep beep, Richie,” Bev says, but Eddie smiles.

“I feel like we should speed run this shit,” Richie hisses to Eddie. “We know where we’re headed, let’s fucking get on with it.”

Eddie agrees on that. But the others clearly prefer caution here, so they make their way slowly through the house. Which, of course, means that they get separated.

Stan, Bill, Richie, and Eddie make it into the kitchen of the house before the door slams shut. Bill whips around and bangs on the door, calling for Mike. The other three share a wide-eyed look. The fridge starts to rattle. They turn to face it.

“That can’t be good,” Richie says.

The door creaks open.

“It’s Stan,” Richie says, looking dazed.

“What the fuck?” Stan says.

It is Stan. Or, a messed-up version of how Stan looked as a kid. Eddie remembers Richie telling him about how he’d followed what he’d thought was Eddie into a trap and how he and Bill had seen some fucked up version of him when they’d come into the house the first time. Stan’s twisted up in the fridge, looking the way Pennywise had when he’d trapped a broken-armed Eddie as kids.

Fucked up kid Stan looks up at them, screams, then its head rolls off. When it finally comes to a stop it looks up at them.

“This is all your fault, Bill,” it says.

“Richie? What’s happening to me?” It asks. Richie gapes at it.

It whimpers in pain as legs sprout from the side of its face.

Stan reaches up and rubs at the scars ringing his face. Eddie is hyperventilating in the corner.

It finishes its horrifying transformation and starts to laugh.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Richie says.

It screams before lunging towards them. They scatter. It comes toward Eddie and he kicks it away. Bill manages to knock it out of the room.

“Eddie,” Richie says, coming over to check on him. “Are you okay?”

Before Eddie can say anything, a long strand of saliva drips between them.

Richie shines his flashlight up at the rafters and “Oh, there he is,” Richie says before it jumps down and tackles Richie to the floor. It’s on Richie’s face, Bill’s holding onto it, trying to pull it off of Richie and Eddie can’t move. He’s frozen, numb, stuck, useless in the corner while the love of his fucking life is in danger.

“Get the knife, Eddie!” Bill is screaming.

Eddie can hear the others yelling for Richie as they get closer.

“Goddammit Eddie! Get the knife!” Bill screams, but Eddie still can’t move.

Luckily for them all, Stan jumps forward and grabs the knife bringing it down onto the thing’s head. He stabs it more times than should be necessary before it finally lets go of Richie’s face. Bill chucks it against the far wall. The others burst into the room.

“Are you alright?” Bev asks Richie.

“I can’t see,” he says, and Bev pulls his glasses off to wipe them down.

Ben gets Stan tucked up against his side to try to quell his shaking and Eddie is still frozen in the corner. Still frozen even as Bill charges over.

“He could have fucking died, man, you know that right?” Bill yells. “Georgie’s dead and the kid’s dead, you want Richie too? You want Richie too?”

“I don’t, I don’t,” Eddie manages to choke out. God, no, he doesn’t want Richie dead, he literally doesn’t know what he’d do if Richie died. “Please don’t be mad, Bill. I was just scared.” He’s on the verge of tears.

“That’s what it wants, right?” Bill says. “Don’t give it to him.”

They head down into the basement and Eddie won’t meet Richie’s eyes, even though Richie is desperately trying to get Eddie to look at him. They’re down in the sewers now.

“Eugh, greywater,” he says as they splash down into it.

They come to the place they fought It as kids, and it’s flooded out unlike how it had been when they were kids. Bev stops and looks behind them.

“What is it?” Ben asks.

“I thought I heard something,” She says, right before a large shape pops up and grabs her.

The others dive in after her without hesitation, but Eddie, once again, can’t make himself move.

“Guys,” he calls after a few long seconds. “Come on please.”

They surface and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief.

“Mike,” Richie says. “Where do we go from here?”

Turns out, deeper. Deeper into the ground, deeper than the sewers. They start descending one at a time, but Eddie is hesitant. He doesn’t want to fuck things up even more.

“You guys, I can’t do it. You saw what happened up there, I just fucking froze up. I was gonna let you die,” He says, finally looking at Richie. “You let me go down there with you, I’m gonna get us all killed.”

“Hey,” Richie says. “No, come on. You had a moment, fine. But who killed a psychotic clown before he was fourteen?”

“Me,” Eddie says.

“Who stabbed Bowers with his own fucking knife?” Richie says.

“Me,” Eddie says.

“Who came out to his friends after living in the closet for forty years of his life?” Richie says.

“Me,” Eddie says.

“Yeah,” Richie says, soft, so soft, the way he’s always been with Eddie. “You’re braver than you think.”

Richie’s the only one who’s ever thought Eddie was brave. The only one who didn’t treat him like he may be as fragile as his mom tried to make it seem.

It makes Eddie want to be as brave as Richie thinks he is. Want to be brave _for_ Richie.

Bev hands him a spiked fence post. “Here, it kills monsters,” she says.

“It does?” He asks.

“If you believe it does,” She says.

They descend into the caverns beneath Derry.

It’s overwhelmingly large, with a meteor impact site.

“So this has been under Derry forever?” Eddie says absently.

“Not forever,” Mike says. “Just a billion years.”

“That’s essentially forever,” Richie whispers to him and he tries not to laugh.

They climb inside the spiked area and Mike sets his relic down in the middle. They’re standing in a circle around it.

“Okay, now we burn our artifacts.”

One by one they toss their items into the fire.

“Join hands. The lights are going to come down, do not look at them. Say ‘turn light into dark,’” Mike says.

They start chanting. The lights descend, Eddie’s got his eyes squeezed shut. Mike darts forward to cap the relic. Something starts to push back. It’s a red balloon, growing steadily bigger and pushing them out of the ring of spikes. It pops. It’s loud, disorienting, and leaves a ringing in Eddie’s ears.

The group finds each other, asking Mike if it worked. Pennywise peeks out from behind a spike, so that’s a no.

Mike admits that the last people to attempt this ritual failed. It’s clear that he was desperate for this to work. Bill is yelling at him. But Eddie gets it. He wanted this to work too. The clown goes in for an attack and Bill yanks Mike out of the way. Then they’re all dodging spiked arms. They scatter.

Eddie ends up following Richie into an offshoot, Stan close behind them. There’s a spiked arm after them and they scramble down the tunnel until they come to a set of three doors in the way.

The arm is clearly there to make them choose and Eddie quickly takes in the options in front of them. Not Scary at All, Scary, Very Scary.

“Let’s do not scary at all,” Eddie says.

“No!” Richie grabs at his arm. “He’s fucking with us. It’s flipped.”

“Are you sure?” Stan asks.

“Yeah, it did this to me and Bill the first time we went into Niebolt,” Richie says.

“Okay,” Eddie says. Stan nods.

Richie, with one hand still wrapped around Eddie’s wrist, reaches out to open the Very Scary door.

It’s dark, there’s a string hanging down and Richie pulls it. A light clicks on to show a fairly innocuous looking closet, then a whisper comes from further in the tunnel.

“Where’s my shoe?” Suddenly a set of legs, just legs, holy fuck, comes skipping down the hallway. Eddie is reminded of them biking Ben towards the pharmacy and himself ranting about amputations and asking how you amputate a waist. He shakes it off as Richie slams the door.

“He’s not fucking with us. Let’s do not scary,” Richie says.

Eddie eases the door open and all that’s there is a little Pomeranian.

“I don’t trust that,” Eddie says.

“Yeah, that thing is definitely a monster,” Richie says.

“Guys, the arm’s gone,” Stan says.

“Richie, make it sit,” Eddie says.

Richie looks at him then turns back to the dog.

“Sit,” he says. It does and, holy shit, that’s cute.

“Guys, the arm’s gone,” Stan says, but they’re still cooing at the puppy.

“Guys,” Stan starts again right as the dog transforms into some kind of monster. They scream and Richie slams the door shut.

“You two are idiots. Why the fuck did I follow you down here?” Stan says.

“Sorry,” Richie says.

Mike yells from the cavern and they run back up the tunnel. Eddie drops his flashlight and Stan pauses to wait for him. Richie’s a few long paces ahead of them and gets to the cavern before them.

“You wanna play truth or dare? Here’s a truth! You’re a sloppy bitch!” Richie is yelling.

“Did he actually just call the fucking alien monster a sloppy bitch?” Stan says incredulously.

Eddie is almost laughing despite the situation, because that’s _such_ a Richie move.

“Let’s dance! Yippie-ki-yay motherfu-” Richie cuts off. Eddie’s stomach drops to his shoes. Something has happened to Richie; he’d never just cut off in the middle of a line like that.

Stan and Eddie emerge from their tunnel. It’s got Richie trapped in the deadlights, floating above them. Eddie feels like he might throw up.

“Ok,” Stan says. “Ok, fuck.”

Eddie looks at the spike still in his hand. “This kills monsters if you believe it does.” He says and throws the spike right into Its gaping maw. He doesn’t even watch to make sure it connects, too focused on Richie floating above them.

Stan sprints over to catch Richie as it releases him from the deadlights. “Eddie, help me move him!” he yells.

Eddie helps Stan carry Richie into another tunnel, just out of Its reach. Richie’s deadweight in their arms, head lolling to the side, eyes blank. They set him down gently.

“Rich, wake up, come on,” Eddie says, shaking him, hoping desperately for him to open his eyes.

“This happened to Bev too,” Stan says. “When we were kids.”

“How did we get her back?” Eddie says, trying to remember.

“Ben kissed her,” Stan says, smirking. “And I think we know which one of us is the Ben to Richie’s Bev.”

Fuck. It’s not like he doesn’t want to kiss Richie, clearly, since he’s been doing it. It’s more he doesn’t want to do it in front of Stan. Stan seems to sense this.

“I’ll go make sure it doesn’t sneak up on us,” He says, clapping Eddie on the shoulder as he slides past him to keep an eye on the tunnel entrance.

Eddie looks down at a still frozen Richie and takes a deep breath. Then he leans down and kisses Richie. It’s a terrible feeling, kissing Richie’s slack mouth. It feels almost like he’s dead, but then Richie gasps against his mouth. Eddie pulls back.

“Eds,” Richie says, eyes wide, stunned.

“Hey, Rich,” Eddie says gently.

“Shit, Eddie!” Richie says and rolls them over. Richie’s hovering over him a few feet from where they were laying before. Richie looks terrified.

“Rich? You okay?” Eddie asks.

Richie leans back and presses his hands to Eddie’s stomach.

Rich?” he prompts.

“You’re ok. You’re ok,” he says, he sounds relieved.

“Yeah, Richie, I’m okay,” Eddie soothes. “Are you?”

“Yeah, yes, yeah, I’m good,” Richie nods. He looks around them. “Where, where are we?”

“In another tunnel,” Eddie says. “Stan caught you when you fell, and we moved you.”

“Holy fuck,” Richie breathes. “It wasn’t real.”

“What, Rich?”

“Fuckin’ deadlights,” Richie says. “Tell you later.”

“Okay. You sure you’re ok?” Eddie says.

“Yeah,” Richie says.

“Good,” Eddie says and leans up to kiss Richie quickly.

Richie grins at him when he pulls back. The dope. They help each other up. 

Bev slides into the tunnel, Ben hot on her heels.

“Is Richie okay?” she demands.

“Yeah,” Stan says. “Eddie had to Ben it. But he’s good now.”

Ben blushes. Bev quirks an eyebrow. Richie’s grinning at Eddie and he can feel himself blushing.

“Stan, you’re fucking evil, man.”

“Nah, that’s the clown,” Stan shoots back.

“What now?” Bev asks.

Bill and Mike join them in the tunnel.

“Rich, you ok?” Mike asks. 

“Peachy keen,” Richie says.

“You sure?” Bill asks.

“Yeah, no one’s dead, so we’re doing real well,” Richie says. “The deadlights are a fuckin’ trip.”

“Rich,” Bev says.

Stan bumps Richie’s arm with his shoulder. Richie slings an arm around both of them.

“I’ll make us shirts when we get outta here,” he says.

“How do we get out of here?” Stan asks.

Pennywise must figure out which tunnel they’ve ducked into because he starts banging against the tunnel entrance and taunting them.

“Fucking hell, guys,” Eddie says. “If he was smaller, we could deal with him easier.”

“What are you saying, Eddie?” Bev asks.

“I ran into It at the pharmacy. The leper again. And I fought back, I had my hands around its throat, and it felt so weak. That’s when it puked on me,” Eddie says.

“Cause you’d backed it into a corner and you were winning,” Stan says, realization creeping across his face.

“If we make it small, we can fight it, we can beat it,” Mike says.

“If we’re not afraid of it,” Bev says, eyes distant. “That’s how we won last time, but this time, there’s nowhere else for it to go. This time we finish it off.”

“So how do we make it small?” Ben asks.

“The tunnel we used to come in, we had to crawl in, it has to be small to get through it.” Bev says.

“Ok, on three we run for it,” Richie says.

They nod.

“One, two, three,” Richie says. They duck out the second entrance to the tunnel and start sprinting towards the exit. It’s no use. Pennywise is faster, he’s in front of them, between them and their way out, in no time.

“What do we do now?” Bill says.

“You die is what you do!” Pennywise taunts.

“There’s more than one way to make someone small.” Mike says solemnly.

“Small? Me? I am the eater of worlds!” Pennywise says.

“Not to us you’re not. You’re just a fucking clown,” Mike says.

“Eater of worlds!” it screeches and swings a leg at them.

“You’re a stupid clown!” Ben screams back and it halts, begins to falter.

They scream it down, hurling insults, unafraid, slinging the shit it used against them back at it. It backs up, it shrinks, it cowers, it whimpers and finally, Mike reaches down to pull its heart out.

“Look at you,” it says softly, “You’re all grown up.”

They crush its heart together, all as one, the lucky fucking seven.

It disintegrates, lights dimming, going out, turning to dust.

The cavern begins to shake, rocks falling, and they scramble their way out, holding on to the closest person, watching for falling rocks and debris, crawling, ducking, running, climbing until they’re spilling down the front steps of the dilapidated house. They sprint across the yard, only stopping when they get past the fence and into the street. They stand there, trying to catch their breath, watching as the house crumbles, like the only thing that was keeping it upright was the hate and fear that fed Pennywise. There’s a moment of silence, then Richie whoops.

“We fucking did it!” he yells into the early morning air. “Lucky fucking Seven!”

They’re cheering, hugging each other, covered in dirt and dust and grime.

Bev grins. “You know what we should do?” she says.

Richie looks at her and grins back. “Go to the quarry, right?”

“Fuck yeah,” Bill says.

They walk, wandering through the streets they used to haunt, memories firmly back in place. They’re loud, boisterous, bumping against each other and laughing. They’re free of the crushing weight they’ve been carrying, whether they knew it or not. They’re free of the fear they once held. They make it to the quarry and start pulling their shoes off and their electronics out of their pockets like they’re not already ruined from the sewers. Bev is the first one over the edge, a delighted scream following her down.

Ben’s over next, followed closely by Mike and Bill. Stan hesitates, glances at Richie, then shrugs and steps over the edge.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Eddie sighs.

“You secretly love it,” Richie says.

“Swimming around in dirty water?” Eddie says. “No way dude.”

“Nah, you like it. Being free, it’s the jump that you like, and a little bit being in the dirty water when you know your mom would hate it,” Richie says.

Eddie is struck dumb. He’s flayed open, seen in a way he always forgot Richie could do. In a way no one else has ever seen him. He’s disgusting, Richie’s disgusting, their friends are right fucking there, but there’s nothing that can keep him from kissing Richie then. Kissing and kissing and kissing Richie. God, he’s so fucking in love with this idiot, the only person who’s ever seen all of him and thought yeah, that’s the one I want. The only one who’s never wanted to change anything about who he is, neurotic as he is, high strung as he is, too much as he is.

And Richie is kissing him like he’s starving for it, like he can’t get enough, like all his dreams are coming true. 

Richie pulls back. “Eds,” he says, breathless.

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs and pulls him back into the kiss.

“Eds, baby, we gotta go, we gotta jump,” Richie says.

Eddie lets Richie drag him to the edge of the cliff, cause Richie’s right, they have to go before the others come looking for them. He sucks in a deep breath and looks over at Richie. Richie’s watching him, ready to jump, but waiting until Eddie’s ready.

Eddie nods. Richie grins. In sync, they take a running leap off the edge of the cliff and Eddie’s thrilled. Full of residual adrenaline, tingling all over from kissing Richie, deeply in love, and free falling. It feels like more than jumping off a cliff into the quarry; more like jumping out of the past and into a shining future.

Richie yells right before they hit the water and the two of them come up grinning like madmen.

“Took you two long enough to join us,” Stan says, smirking at them.

Richie splashes him. Stan laughs.

They devolve into playing in the water like they did as children. Richie loses his glasses. The others laugh and dive underwater to look for them.

Eddie comes up first.

“This is so gross,” Eddie says.

“Are Ben and Bev making out down there?” Richie’s squinting at the water.

“So fucking gross. This is greywater,” Eddie says.

“Mike probably shouldn’t have that cut in this water,” Stan says.

The others resurface.

“Holy shit! Mike, get the fuck out of the water. We gotta get that cleaned,” Eddie says. He’s thinking back through how much disgusting shit they’ve gone through since Mike got that cut. “You should probably go to the hospital for that at this point.”

The Losers are all smiling at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He says.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Eddie,” Bev says with a smile.

“Okay, fine, sure, but we still need to get Mike’s arm clean,” he says, gesturing to the shore.

The others laugh, but they all do head to shore. They gather their things and make their way back to Richie’s car. Richie drops Mike and Bill off at the hospital and takes the rest of them back to the Townhouse to clean up.

“I’m going to take Mike’s truck to the hospital so they aren’t stranded. I’ll let you guys know when we’re done and we can meet up somewhere for dinner,” Stan says when they reconvene in the still empty lounge.

“Anything but Chinese,” Richie says.

Stan laughs and heads out. Bev and Ben are glancing at each other out of the corners of their eyes and Eddie is anxious to talk with Richie. He can’t figure out a good way to get Richie out of the room. Richie seems to figure it out.

“Hey Eds,” he says, “I need to show you something.”

Eddie looks at him warily, trying to decide if this is Richie trying to make a joke.

“I’m not making a joke,” Richie rolls his eyes. “I’m not about to tell you it’s my dick.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you, Trashmouth,” Ben teases.

Richie flips him off without looking. He’s waiting for Eddie’s reaction.

“Fine,” Eddie says.

“Great, come on,” Richie says and leads him out the door.

“We’ll be back in a bit!” He calls back into the house.

He’s quiet as he leads Eddie through town and Eddie’s not sure what to make of it, but it seems like Richie is nervous.

Finally, they come to the kissing bridge.

“Why are we out here, Rich?” he asks, finally breaking the quiet.

“I told you, I wanna show you something,” Richie says.

They come to a stop about halfway down the bridge. Richie’s looking at the rails.

“There,” he says.

“What am I looking for here, Rich?” Eddie asks after a cursory glance.

Richie huffs then crouches down to point at one of the carvings. “This,” he says.

Eddie crouches next to him. There, carved into the wood is R+E.

“Rich, you?” Eddie asks breathlessly.

“Yeah, I did it that summer,” Richie admits. “I, I couldn’t tell anyone, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Stan found me not long after. I was freaking out. That’s how he knew.”

“Rich,” Eddie says, he thinks he’s crying. Correction, he’s definitely crying; he can feel the tears tracing down his face.

Richie reaches out and wipes them away. “Eds, I know you said we’d finish that conversation later, and I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but do you think, do you think we could do that?” Richie says.

“Yeah, Rich,” Eddie says. “We can talk about it.”

“Okay,” Richie nods. “Okay.”

“Rich,” Eddie says. “Rich, I don’t know what you want, but I meant it when I said I love you and I don’t want to let you go again. I don’t want to, I don’t know, make you feel like you have to do anything but, I, I know I need you in my life. And if the best way is as friends, I understand and that’s fine-”

“Eddie, I want you in my life however you’ll let me be there. I would love it if we were together, but if that’s too much, I get it. I love you. I’ve always loved you; I don’t think I ever stopped. And I want all the time I can have with you. Like, I don’t know what you have to do, but like, whatever you want, I’ll do. If you want to come to LA with me, if you want me to come to New York with you, if you want to never see me again. Whatever you want,” Richie says.

“Jesus, Rich,” Eddie says.

“I know,” Richie says, self-deprecating yet again. “I’m pathetic.”

“No, you absolutely are not. I love you too, dumbass. I’ve felt like something’s been missing this whole time and it’s you. It’s always been you. I wanna be with you, too. I want-” too much, he wants too much.

“Anything, Eds,” Richie says.

“I’m divorcing my wife; I’ve already told her. I, I want you to come with me to New York to make arrangements. I want to come to LA with you. I wanna be with you,” Eddie says decisively.

Richie’s crying. “Yes, Eddie, yes,” he says.

“You sure?” Eddie says. “It’s not too much?”

“Maybe some people would think so, but I’ve spent 27 years of my life without you and I can’t wait a second longer,” Richie says.

“Me either, Rich,” Eddie says. And he can’t help but kiss him. Right there on the fucking Kissing Bridge in the middle of fucking Derry.

Richie’s crying still, and the kiss tastes like salt, but its so gentle, so full of love that Eddie feels like he’s floating.

Richie pulls back and rests his forehead against Eddie’s, eyes closed and breathing heavy.

“I love you,” Richie says.

“I love you, too,” Eddie says.

“Hey, let’s carve the bridge again,” Richie says.

“Okay,” Eddie says. And they do.

They stand there, admiring their work.

“Hey, we should get back,” Richie says.

They make their way back. Ben and Bev aren’t in the lounge anymore so they take a seat to wait to hear from Stan.

They’re cuddled up on the couch when Ben and Bev make a reappearance.

“Did you guys figure your shit out?” Richie says.

“Did you?” Bev tosses back.

“Yeah, baby,” Richie grins.

Bev grins back at him. Ben settles into the loveseat and pulls Bev down with him. They fall into easy conversation until Stan calls.

They agree to meet up for pizza and it’s a much better dinner than the horror that was dinner the night before. They get kicked out of the pizza place for being too loud after about an hour and a half. They head back to the Townhouse for another Loser’s slumber party.

In the morning, they’ll leave town with a group chat and their memories intact. In the morning, they’ll promise to meet up in a few weeks. In the morning, they’ll wake up to the first day of the rest of their lives and it’ll look better and brighter than life has for them in a long time. In the morning. But for now, they fall into a peaceful sleep, surrounded by the people they love. 


End file.
